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Decision to stand and fight or seek safety same as trying to choose wallpaper patterns insists PM

Boris Johnson is reported to have said that he sympathises with Ukrainians torn between fighting the invading Russian army or seeking safety in a neighbouring country as he has had to face similar agonising decisions himself in recent days.

‘Fretting over which wallpaper to choose for the rooms at No10 cost the PM many sleepless nights', a concrned Johnson was alleged to have said. 'So I know from first hand experience how difficult it can be to make those important life changing decisions. But it brought Carrie and I even closer together…our Blitz spirit got us through those long sleepless nights of indecision and worry.'

'Choosing the wrong wallpaper is something we would all have to live with and I was not prepared to put my family through such an ordeal.'

'Living with the wrong wallpaper day after day is similar to risking your life in a war. I’m sure the Ukrainian people would agree with me on that.'

'Which is why we turned to Lulu for help….a bit like how Ukraine has turned to us for help with their current predicament.'

'Thanks to Brexit we were able to choose our own wallpaper and did not have to seek approval from EU overlords as we always had to in the past.', the PM is said to have concluded.

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