Dr. Who has resigned as a locum Timelord, buckling under the pressure of delivering a 24/7 NHS alongside defeating Daleks. The tipping point came with 10-minute consultations on alien invasions, waiting lists for his young assistants, TARDIS parking charges and hospital porters expected to do battle with Cybermen.
The Health Secretary has insisted that any new Dr. Who appointment must start on a junior pay-scale, regardless of the combined experience of previous regenerations: ‘A sonic screwdriver is no substitute for a dialysis machine, although it can double as a rectal thermometer. We’re slowly privatizing the NHS - and not even the Doctor can turn back time.’
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