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Drug dealers concerned customers are unsure of imperial measurements

A spokesman for the National Union of Drug Dealers has expressed concerns that customers and pushers will not understand imperial measurements when changes come into force.

"We've always dealt in grams", Spider Harris told our reporter. "The customers will have no idea how much to buy and, to be quite honest, I'm not sure many of my members will either."

"It'll be the ruin of us. A one gram wrap for £20 will now be a 0.035 ounce wrap. We're gonna need new scales. My employees won't be able to quickly work out grams to ounces by dividing current wraps by 28.364. Most of them didn't go to school, if they'd got maths GCSE, they wouldn't be working for me, would they?"

A spokesman for Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, released a statement saying the PM was concerned for the future of the trade and that the Department for Work and Pensions is looking into an advertising campaign, credit card sized conversion charts, new scales and extra training for dealers at this difficult time.

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