A recent survey confirmed that no-one ever knows when Easter is, prompting the Easter Bunny to complain that Christmas' superior branding is leaving Easter trailing.
PR expert Naveed Nasir said 'Easter's biggest problem is all the betrayal, crucifixion and death. The rising again doesn't happen for three whole days! Baby Jesus is just an easier sell than Adult Jesus. Christmas has a fixed date and as for presents - the concept is genius even though I would rather get an iPhone and an Amazon voucher than frankincense and myrrh. Easter also needs some better tunes. Slade didnt write "Here it is, Merry Easter" and Chris Rea isn't "Driving home for Easter". Not through those tailbacks anyway. I'm not sure The Stone Roses' "I am the resurrection" is enough on its own.'
A spokesbunny wrinkled its nose adorably before saying 'Here at Easter HQ, we know we have a perception problem. Santa Claus can give kids any present they want and the Easter Bunny (aka Easy B) is limited to vastly overpriced chocolate eggs, which the kids then have to find. And rabbits don't even lay eggs - it makes no sense. Also Santa's got his corporate sponsorship all tied up with Coca Cola (and the John Lewis ads). Come on Cadbury's (and maybe Waitrose?), you know it makes sense. Can I offer you a hot cross bun?'
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