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ERG denies outbreak of unity within Tory parliamentary party

It appears today that no one, with possible exception of the Mail's Andrew Pierce, believes the Tory Party has embraced the concept of unity.

An unnamed source for extreme right wing reactionary conservative nutjobs, the ERG said: 'What's that? We're all now singing off the same hymn sheet? Are you kidding? This is the Tory Party. Next you'll be telling me the Earth's not flat and Suella Braverman isn't utterly heartless.'

And one member of the inner circle close to sacked business secretary, Jacob Rees-Mogg said: 'Well of course that's all very well, but I happen to know Jacob's pretty sore over losing his cabinet place. Particularly, as he'd been putting a lot of legwork and time into plans to create a revamped East India Company and introduce a new national serf scheme.'

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