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Goverment solves cost of living crisis with photocopied pictures of nutritious food

Having engaged restaurateur Henry Dimbleby, to help assist in compiling its food strategy policy, Jacob Rees Mogg has been reseaching the ingredients Henry Dimbleby suggests the government should focus on, and concluded that a nutritious gruel to keep the plebs heathy could be made by boiling photocopied pictures of the ingredients, although he says it would come at less cost to the taxpayer if the poor had the decency to download the picures and print them out.

Tory doners have applauded Rees Mogg's brilliance and are planning on producing a range of ink jet printers with nutritional ink cartridges that allow the users to adjust the amount of ink they use, so for special occasions, an entire ink cartridge could be used to add more flavour, but when money is tight, the printer could be used in draft mode.

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