We know that much of what they say is already scripted, but by applying cutting edge AI technology the government will ensure no more mistakes of the "I miss-spoke" kind.
Other benefits include increased efficiency, 24/7 operation and reduced reliance on alcohol before appearing on BBC Question Time.
The system will sample speeches and replies from the archive, analyse and filter these and then produce a suitable output. Obviously it will be necessary to ensure nothing ever said by Dominic Raab goes in.
The whole project is being run by an offshoot of the cabinet office, known only by the codeword "project drone".
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