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Government to enshrine vacuous promises in law

A spokesman for Michael Gove has confirmed that the government, which has a track record of ignoring laws it makes and breaking historical precedents without compunction, is going to address the levelling up agenda by enshrining their hollow election promises to make transport standards outside London as good as within, to deliver megabit broadband to every corner of the UK and to ensure that every household in the UK has the same economic advantages.

In a more detailed explanation the spokesman agreed that the transport promise, at best, will only apply to London targets when London transport is on strike, there aren’t actually any corners in the UK but did mention that the government has a stockpile of 56k dial up modems ready to roll and insisted that the VAT hike and energy crisis is well on the way to levelling up poverty.

‘In those term, the government will not only deliver, but will legislate to make sure we deliver,’ he said today. ‘Unless it becomes inconvenient, difficult or isn’t popular with Tory donors, in which case we revert to Plan A and ignore or break the law, as usual.’

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