Having spent the Summer practising ‘keepie uppies’ with his grandson, Ron Wythers is convinced he has what it takes. Speaking to reporters, he explained: ‘Obviously I’ll need to adjust to the modern game; with the absence woollen shirts, leather balls and working class fans.
‘But my plan is simple. I will personally don the number nine jersey and score our way to victory!’. An eerie silence filled the room for several minutes, before one reporter cautiously reminded him that he was ‘sixty six’.
‘I can’t be worse than the current batch’.