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Great British Menu slammed 'pretentious, dangerous and out of control'

Chaos ensued on BBC’s cooking show Great British Menu, when one dish caused a major emergency and very nearly burnt the presenter and studio to the ground.

Contestant Paul Champion was recreating his much-praised: Ironic Vesuvius Erupting Amid Clouds of Compassion Caught Somewhere In Gran’s Fading Mind, paying homage to the NHS, when things went badly wrong.

'I had just sprinkled shavings of unicorn testicles over heritage irradiated purified wasp excrement and mouse snot powder, then fired up my WW2 army flamethrower to meld them together. But that's when things went a bit mental,' Paul said.

Unbeknown to him the lethal weapon was set on full power. Immediately a 30-foot jet of white-hot flame shot out, licking across presenter Andi Oliver's bottom and taking at least £250 off the value of her designer jump suit..

Safety officer, Reg Knaphill, who eventually brought the conflagration under control was less than impressed when speaking to reporters.

‘I am sick of it. Heston Blumenthal has a lot to answer for with this pretentious nonsense. What hell's wrong with a good old plate of ham, egg and chips?

Photo by Tali Despins on Unsplash

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