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Grovelling to Royals to be rationed following recent high demand

The Department for Culture Media and Sport has issued a warning the UK's stocks of obsequious grovelling, sycophancy and metaphorical forelock-tugging are running dangerously low.

Speaking to reporters earlier today a spokesman said: 'Following high demand for royal commentary over the past eighteen months, television correspondents Chris Ship and Nicholas Witchell have been given formal warnings to dial back excessive crawling this side of the King's Christmas address.'

It's understood blowing smoke up regal arses will be reserved for senior family members only, a move said to have angered Prince Edward as well as princesses Beatrice and Eugène.

Meanwhile, in an attempt to restock supplies of embarrassing fawning resources to normal levels the spokesman confirmed Britain has made an urgent request, reaching out to North Korea, widely believed to have huge stockpiles of suitably mindless, but easily adapted servile sycophancy currently earmarked for despotic leader, Kim Jong-un.

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