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Hansel and Gretel accuse Witch of landlordism

Updated: Nov 28, 2021

With rents rising at their fastest pace since 2008, Fairy-tale tenants are struggling to keep the wolf from the door. Said Little Red Riding Hood: ‘I don’t mind the wolf eating my grandmother, but I object to him keeping my deposit’.

Complained Gretel: ‘We left a trail of crumbs, but that was 40% of our wages. The ‘charming cottage, with ensuite oven’ turned out to be a dilapidated hovel, with poor Wi-Fi and walls riddled with asbestos instead of ginger-bread’.

The Little Pigs have been accused of over-charging for slums with straw cladding. While the cannibalistic Witch was said to have a portfolio of properties throughout the magic forest, all at London prices. Some renters have defaulted and face eviction, said Baby Bear: ‘Someone has been sleeping in my bed. And she’s still there!’

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