Hansom Cab Drivers Association celebrates ban on motorised taxis



The Hansom Cab Drivers Association is today celebrating the news that Transport for London has decided not to renew the licence to operate granted to motorised taxis in the capital.


‘This is a victory for ordinary Londoners,’ said spokesman Josiah Hozzlethwaite, stroking his luxuriant side-whiskers as he wrapped his Ulster around himself against the fog rolling in off the Thames.

‘Granted, they may have wanted an alternative to travelling at a snail's pace with the constant smell of horseshit in their nostrils, but er... well, it's good for them in some way, can't think how just at the moment...’


However, a one furious black cab driver dismissed this as complete nonsense.


‘It's a closed-shop cartel, designed to deprive Londoners of choice in order to keep their own profits high. And we taxi drivers would never behave like that, unless of course we stood to make more money that way, in which case we would. OK, maybe not, if say the fare wanted to go south of the river late at night. But otherwise…’