‘I’d come to have my appendix out and instead they made me visit Blackpool’s Pleasure Beach and gave me a ticket to a flint museum. I’m ill, but I’m not a masochistic.’ Following a day trip to Glasgow’s needle exchange and a weekend break at Pontins in Rhyl, the health tourist said: ‘I may not have been dying to begin with, but after caravanning in Tenby, I’m desperate for an all-inclusive fortnight at a local hospital.’
Meanwhile a legitimate holidaymaker complained that too many foreign patients were faking it: ‘There was this bald kid, with a Romanian accent, trying to jump the queue at Alton Towers – it wasn’t chemo it was alopecia.’
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