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Hollywood to cut costs by using smaller actors

There is evidence many film scripts have been doctored to accommodate miniature casts; Ewoks were once Wookies, ‘The Hobbit’ originally featured the Jolly Green Giant and ‘Little Women’ was about an all-female basketball team. One studio exec confirmed: ‘Tom Cruise is 3ft 4inches, Daniel Radcliffe has to wear stilts and Martin Freeman is technically a micropig’.

Commented one diminutive star: ‘It used to be all the women wore heels on the red carpet and I had to bring my own pogo stick. Now I’m such a big – figuratively speaking – star, I can demand my own plinth, while all my co-stars have to saw their own legs off at the knee’.

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