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  • Myke

Holy family briefed against us, say Mary & Joseph

A bitter rift has opened up in royal David city as the mother of Jesus accused God of stoking tabloid tittle-tattle. A spokesperson for God was forced to deny claims that the estranged couple are not invited to the coronation of their son, the Messiah.

‘We regret the unfounded allegation that the holy couple are not welcome at births, resurrections and crucifixions. They may attend on condition they sit at the back and don’t try to upstage the main event.’

The accusations of briefing and counter-briefing are featured in the couple’s new book, ‘No room at the Inn’, which is to be serialised in a Netflix documentary this Christmas. The series depicts God as an angry genocidal maniac. In secret footage the inn keeper, Ezekiel Farage, asks Mary and Joseph where they are from. When they answers Galilee he asks again, no – where are you really from? And then claims he has no room. Critics have accused the couple of trying to steal the limelight and of taking bribes from three kings.

The row looks set to escalate, and no one expects it to end for at least another two thousand years.

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