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HS2 to terminate in Salford

The government has admitted that although the HS2 will terminate in Manchester centre, it won't terminate in London centre. 'We used a consultant who was on loan from RyanAir and he suggested we could save a lot of the budget by relocating the terminus to at least one destination outside of the named destination,' said a government spokesman today. 'They use it all the time, apparently. So Rome as a destination actually terminates in Umbria, and all the passengers have to do is to catch a local bus for the final 160km. It's very popular, allows RyanAir to charge reasonable fees and provides a little excitement into an otherwise dull travel experience.

'So the consultant suggested keeping the Manchester City terminus and locating the London stop at Salford, with a bus connection to Euston. Or catch one of the many trains already running from Manchester via Salford to London, which would actually be quicker. Saved about £38 billion on the journey, opening up an opportunity for Truss and Kwarting to come back and finish what they started,' he said.

image from pixabay

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