"I'm not panic buying, I'm filling up while I can" says panic buyer
A motorist queueing to fill his already three quarters full tank has slammed panic buyers, while insisting he is simply taking the sensible precaution of filling up while he can, because of all the panic buying.
"With all of this panic buying going on I don't know when my local fuel station will have diesel again, so thought I should top up now." said Wayne Riley, without a trace of irony.
"Sure I'm not planning on doing any long journeys, I work from home, have Tesco deliver my shopping and travel an average of fifteen miles per week, but you never know do you?" continued Riley, who is definitely not one of these selfish people needlessly rushing out to buy fuel.
"It really knocks your faith in humanity when you see how everybody is just 'me, me, me' at the first sign of a problem." he concluded, while filling a third jerry can and putting it in the boot alongside the hundred toilet rolls that are still there from last spring.