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International tightrope walking competition opens in Qatar

Competitors are gathering in the Middle East to walk a tightrope between enjoying themselves and being condemned to the death penalty. The festival of daring, bravery and skill involves very carefully putting one foot in front of the other, as even the slightest step out of line could prove fatal.

The Qatari authorities have explained that even white, hetrosexual, teetotal, male entrants who don’t really care about human rights will have to tread very carefully along the high wire throughout the competition. All other contestants will have the added complication of tightrope walking on eggshells, and absolutely no safety net will be provided.

Overall, it is hoped that the world’s television viewers will be hugely entertained by the event, and will marvel at the spectacle of the death-defying acts. Apart from the families of the exploited migrant construction workers whose efforts to set up the tournament in Qatar were sadly less than death-defying.

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