Men throughout the UK were outraged to discover that 0.2739726 of their year of idleness would be disrupted by the concept that maybe, just maybe, they should do the dishes for once. Women of all ages tentatively floated the idea that after several thousand years of oppression, they could be excused from a Sunday of feeding ravenous boys and being the only one holding this marriage together.
Next year, the Red Cross has agreed to send food parcels to those men incapable of fending for themselves. One disillusioned male said: ‘In the words of blues legend, Robert Johnson, I got up this morning and no one had made me a cup of tea. Yes, my wife may get 35% less pay, but she gets remunerated with satisfaction of knowing how well she’s ironed my shirt’.
A spokeswoman remarked: ‘International Women’s Day is about empowering women, but only once a year and lasting no more than 24 hours. You’ll have to excuse me, now, I’ve got to put the roast potatoes on’.
