iPhone 14 just an abstract vapour



Apple's new flagship handset will come without a physical sim card, screen or any material properties whatsoever, it can be revealed.


Appearing as a revered mist at the world's first metaphysical launch event, a projection of CEO Tim Cook silently drew a representation of his own wallet with an esoteric air-gesture while the souls of Apple fans spiralled down an invisible vortex into a 40ft glass piggybank.


'The sim card is a lie' echoed a monotone, disembodied voice beamed directly into the minds of the faithful. 'Your contacts are merely distractions from your true and higher purpose: Namely, sending me your bank details'.


The iPhone 14 retails at £749 and is merely the outline of a box containing nothing but a slowly fading whisper of an idea. The iPhone 14 Pro costs more and doesn't come with the box.


image form pixabay

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