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Jeremy Hunt enters third day of not blinking

Chancellor of the Exchequer for this week, Jeremy Hunt, has entered his third day of not blinking. 'He hasn't closed his eyes to sleep,' pointed out a close ally. There is a belief in Downing Street that if Hunt blinks then the dream will end and the markets will drop immediately, so he has undertaken to avoid blinking as long as possible. An alternative rumour is that Jeremy Hunt is dead, hence why he hasn't blinked for three days. Upon hearing this the markets rose instantly.

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