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John Humphrys’ grill wins Masterchef

The Today programme presenter won over the judges after slicing and dicing his interviewee, then serving them on a platter. One judge commented: ‘You normally expect some 'duck' maybe even some 'dive'. Bust instead, he was done up like a kipper’.

Humphry technique has three stages…

1) 'Tenderize: Let the tabloids give him a right hammering. Wait until he looks bloodied.'

2) 'Season: Oil him up with some soft questions. Allow him to caramelize. Be careful not to puncture him too early.'

3) 'Then turn up the heat: Until he cries like a baby!'


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