Updated: Nov 27, 2021
Doctors and nurses have been shocked to discover the PM's 'jolly' elbow bumps were all part of an elaborate mating ritual. Throughout the Covid crisis, Mr. Johnson has been trying to fertilise the nation, one Hospital at a time.
Supposed photo opportunities, were just an excuse to rub elbows and spread his Midwich seed. Complained one health professional: 'He didn't wear a mask or any other form of protection. And what about STD's? Clap for nurses takes on a whole different meaning.'