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Judean Security Forces searching for Nazarene couple

Conflicting reports are coming in regarding a couple and babe that are wanted by Herod.

The man known as Joseph is variously described as a people smuggler or sex trafficker. The woman, Mary is believed to have given birth to a boy child somewhere in Bethlehem. Currently, their whereabouts is unknown. They may be heading south with the aim of crossing the border into Egypt. The both have pronounced Galilean accents.

Other sources state that this is fake news, and the King is seeking them because the babe in arms is a threat to his rule. We have question how that could that possibly be.

In other news

Sheep herders' claims that they saw an angel telling them of the coming of a "Messiah" has been dismissed as "poppycock" by a minister. He claims they were merely high on drugs after consuming some particularly strong kif.

The authorities are also keen to speak to three astronomers from the Far East who provided a very disturbing horoscope to the King. They have now fled Jerusalem.

image from pixabay

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