Labour loses by gaining more votes and twice as many seats
One Labour insider looked confused after the Local Elections: ‘We didn't know we'd lost until that nice lady on the BBC and her friends at the Daily Telegraph told us we had. And we wouldn't want the electorate to get the wrong impression'. One journalist said: 'Just because Leicester City got more points than everyone else doesn't mean they won the Premiership'.
Jeremy Corbyn now joins a long list of serial losers - Alexander the Great, Roger Federer and Road Runner. By contrast a Tory spokesman was in celebratory mood: 'Labour only got 31% of the national vote, compared to our spectacular 30%. Yes, we are now trailing by 8% in key wards, but we are now the second party in Scotland. But as you know Scotland has always backed us at a General Election - if you ignore all the years after 1955'.