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Local woman urges immediate publication of full Sue Gray report to end the bad jokes

Updated: Feb 10, 2022

Sandra Robinson has launched a campaign to force the Metropolitan Police to drop its objections to the full Sue Gray report so that the government can publish it in full immediately, in order to “draw a line under and move on from the constant slew of bad jokes”.

“In fact, that isn’t quite fair,” she told reporters. “It isn’t ‘jokes’ plural, it is the one, same bloody joke over and over again – whenever you ask anybody to do something or for their opinion, they respond with something along the lines of not being able to comment until the Sue Gray report is published. I’ve had it up to here with it.”

It began at work, Sandra explained, when an email was sent to a group working on a project asking for their views on a new suggestion. One wag responded that they weren’t prepared to comment until the Sue Gray report was published.

“That first time it was mildly amusing,” Sandra said. “But, now somebody at work will say it to any and every question. Some people are still laughing, but for me joke worn thin almost immediately. I mean, at least try to be original!”

More worryingly, it has now spread to the home, with Sandra’s husband refusing to unload the dishwasher “until the Sue Gray report is published in full”. Even her seven-year-old son repeated the line when she asked him to tidy his room.

“From somebody that young, it might seem quite clever to say that – but it was the straw that broke the camel’s back for me and made me start this campaign.”

When asked if she was worried that her colleagues would simply replace this “joke” with one about having to wait for the Metropolitan Police to conclude their inquiries, Sandra replied: “Not really, not with the ongoing unfortunate misunderstanding with Neville in accounts, the intern and the Zoom camera.”

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