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Man substitutes personality for Madri obsession

A man has successfully substituted his entire personality for an obsession with Madri.

The popular beer has been the drink of choice for many in the U.K. this summer and is now a common sight at most pubs.

But the beer has attracted a crowd of people who have nothing to offer anyone but a monologue about how much they love Madri.

One man in particular, Simon Jones, has cut off his friends and family over the last few months.

His friend, John Cavanagh, said: “it all started with the first sip back in June. He immediately began banging on about how it was much smoother than other beers and was far superior to anything out there.

“He then bought the merchandise - key rings, shirts, socks - even Madri flavoured condoms.

“He laughs at us if we drink anything other than Madri and lectures us on its taste.”

It is understood that his friends have been trying to get Simon to take part in some form of rehabilitation.

John added: “We just want our old Carling drinking friend back. Madri is like a monster inside him - a monster that won’t bloody shut up about Madri’s smoothness.”

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