top of page

Markets crash over Martin/Paltrow split

Often seen as the perfect yoga couple, they provided inspiration for thousands of similar scrawny artists, in need of a good wash and some home cooking. Explained one analyst: ‘No one can replace Chris’ insipid ballads or Gwyneth’s patronizing lifestyle advice’.

Mr. Martin found fame with his iconic ode to a dehydrated urinary stream – ‘Yellow’, while Ms. Paltrow is renowned for her reprising her role as ‘bland, fawning, blonde girl’ in twenty-eight sequels to the Iron Man franchise. ‘It’s almost as if a light has been extinguished. A rather smug, some would say skinny light’.

37 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Despite live-tweeting the killing of Osama, it turns out the CIA spent much of the 80s sending Afghan warlords $630 million in annual payments, in exchange for explicit images of Bin Laden provocative

Using its billionaire dollar empire, Facebook intends to purchase creative ownership of large portions of the English language and a significant portion of the air you breathe. A Facebook executive e

Disguised under the pretext of a kit launch, Britain’s athletes took time out of their busy schedule - of avoiding drug tests - to show off more bulging pectorals than a Zac Efron calendar. Oiled lik

bottom of page