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Middle class man ‘low’ on conversation starters with kitchen fitters

Updated: Dec 2, 2021

Fears are growing for a Nantwich teacher after it was revealed that he was down to his last available anecdote to help him bond with the workmen fitting his new kitchen.

‘Things started well,’ reflected Peter Steel, 43. ‘On Day One, I noted Mike and Roachy’s hot drinks preferences, and topped them up regularly. They seemed genuinely interested that I’d had an agency job for a day as a student making Formica kitchen units in a factory in Peterlee.

‘By Day Three, however, I’d used up my supply of references to England’s left midfield problem and I had repeated three times my story about plumbing in my own washing machine in my first house. I hated myself for it. I don’t think they like me.’

With at least three more days of fitting to go, Steel looks set to ask whether Mike and Roachy watched the World Final of the darts on TV, having established through extensive Google searches over the weekend that the pair both play darts for their local pub. ‘I’d wanted to save that interaction until I was writing them their cheque, but needs must,’ he admitted.

‘Nice bloke, that Mr Steel,’ said Roachy, while sipping his tea with five sugars. ‘Bit odd when he’s tried to sit with us in the front of our van when we have our lunch, but he’s the boss.’

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