Some members of the public are forming militias in their local pubs and workplaces in order to protect the troubled Central Asian nation from sliding into civil war again. 'It’s just common sense, really,' said an office worker from Yorkshire who once participated in a reenactment of the English Civil War battle of Marston Moor. 'Besides, I’ve got annual leave to use up and I haven’t been on holiday for a couple of years so it’ll be nice to see a bit of sun! I’m double jabbed so I won’t have to quarantine when I’m back either.'
Others were against the government measures in the first place, saying that being forced to protect freedom is a violation of their freedom. 'Throughout the past 20 years, I haven’t served in the British Army at all,' one said. 'And yet, I’m not under the rule of the Taliban and neither are any of my mates down the pub. It was all a ploy by the government to control us. Wake up, sheeple!'