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MP's now only embarrassed by the 'sound of pooing'

One Psychologist explained: 'It's a gradual deadening of the moral sense - like laughing at James Corden. Most MP's have learnt to accept their skeleton in a cupboard. Even if that skeleton is wearing a gimp suit, with an orange stuffed in its mouth and George Osborne's tax returns rammed up its boney arse'.

After decades of embezzlement, corruption and world-class douchebaggery, the House of Commons has managed to eliminate shame in all but extreme circumstances. Said one MP: ‘Embarrassed? I pick my nose in public, call fat ladies pregnant, I caught my parents having sex and I even touched a man's winkie, by accident, at the gym – and that was just my average Tuesday’.

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