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Much harder to have affairs from home, complain lecherous CEOs

Get back to the office, so we can start making sexualised remarks and inappropriately touching junior female members of staff. That's the message from Conservative ministers and industry leaders.

'How am I supposed to feel like a real man unless I clumsily attempt to grope Jodie from Accounts.' sleazed CEO Ian Ingram. 'I'm playing golf with the boys later and I need something to boast about. Last week one of them bought new tits for his wife and his secretary.'

'If that pervert comes near me I'll put his head through a f*cking wall.' said Jodie Johnstone from Accounts. 'Joke's on him though because I've been embezzling for years.'

'Hunt and Rees-Mogg want people back in offices? Sometimes I forget that Jeremy Hunt is rhyming slang, but then he says something out loud and I remember.'

image from pixabay

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