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  • Writer's pictureCara

Mums Eat Guilt-Free at New Puritanical Restaurant



Kids eat free and Mums eat guilt-free at “Puritaste,” a revolutionary new culinary experience that promises absolution with every bite.


‘Before, I had to make the choice between a joyless garden salad and the shame of eating something that I actually enjoyed,’ mother of three Emily recounts. ‘Now I can enjoy my favourite meal without the guilt!’


Here’s how it works: Mums choose from a menu of gastronomic indulgences such as Original Sin Sourdough or Epicurean Enchiladas, before being dragged away by a dedicated member of the Puritan team for the next phase of the exoneration.


While the rest of the family enjoys dessert, Mum is brought to kneel before the High Priest, who will urge her to confess her sins before a council of tutting and jeering Pilgrims. After an intense period of self-flagellation, Mum will be forced to make a series of promises before God to redownload My Fitness Pal and swear off carbs for the rest of the month.


Mums leave with a light conscience and a sated appetite.


‘My wounds are healing nicely,’ Emily tells us. ‘I think Puritaste is a great idea; diet culture and religion really do go hand-in-hand when it comes to shaming women, so why not combine the two?’




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