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Nation admits 'Mindfulness' is a crock of sh$t

While experts acknowledge that the UK has the emotional resilience of blancmange, many now agree that mindfulness is just a scam to sell joss ticks and to fill up Spa resorts. Remarked one GP: ‘Get over yourself or have a f$cking cry. Just stop making your problem everyone else’s.

Ignoring parasitic lifestyle gurus, one Buddhist monk explained: ‘Look, sad things happen, okay? Guess what – just eat healthily and be nice to people - that's it. Nothing else. Almost half the world — over three billion people — live on less than $2.50 a day - yet have better mental health. So stop complaining that your cappuccino is too frothy or your data allowance is too low. You’re stressing me out.’

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