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NATO denies fighter jets 'too high-performance to be useful in Ukraine'

A NATO spokesman today denied that NATO's top-gun fighter, the F35, was 'too high performance' to be of any practical use in the 'dirty battlefield' of Ukraine.

He admitted that the state-of-the-art jets require 'cleaned' runways, airspace free of drones and hand-held missiles, and good wifi access in all areas of operation.

He went on to say this would not prevent them dominating the airspace in Ukraine, given a sympathetic social media atmosphere.

"President Zalensky has read the marketing brochures" he explained. "Whilst that might lead him to think the jets would be the solution to many of his problems, it does tend to skim over all the limitations of these planes."

"I'm not saying the ads are bullshit, but they might be painting a rosy picture"

McDonnell-Douglas, manufacturer of the eye-wateringly expensive F-35, was unavailable for comment. But they did promise to launch an airstrike on our HQ, as soon as the political atmosphere improves and they can find a pilot who can fly the blasted things.

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