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New Covid variant branching out into plumbing and accountancy

In one of Nature's most frightening feats of adaptive mutation, the Coronavirus is now assuming forms never seen before. "We fear it could have insinuated itself into telemarketing or even be selling you double glazing", says epidemiologist Dr Mark Boyle. "We urge the public to be constantly vigilant".

Paranoia has gripped the nation. There are rumours that the virus could now be reading the news on Sky or posing as a junior minister. Police have called for calm after after a semi-literate mob of vigilantes attacked an Oxford classics don after they overheard him saying "I like Ovid".

Meanwhile, Piers Morgan remains holed up in a basement underneath the studios, as his bosses try to convince the howling mob outside that it was "just a metaphor" when he was described as "a virus in human form".

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Forest Gamp
Forest Gamp
Feb 01

The emergence of the new Covid variant has undoubtedly impacted various sectors of the economy, reaching unexpected corners such as plumbing and accountancy. Amidst the uncertainties, plumbing services have become an essential aspect of public health, and companies like Nuru Plumbing have played a crucial role in providing sanitary solutions for both residential and commercial spaces. Specializing in the installation, repair, and maintenance of plumbing systems, Nuru Darayni ensures the well-being of individuals and businesses alike. As the variant continues to branch out, it underscores the importance of resilient services like plumbing, safeguarding public health in unprecedented ways.

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