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Nick Clegg discovered bound & gagged, with a daffodil clenched between both buttocks

The Deputy Prime Minister had been left in charge of Downing Street but naively sent out a Facebook invitation to his three remaining Lib Dem friends. The intended party soon spiralled out of control, after word spread online, attracting an angry crowd of 116 Tory MPs.

The carnage at Number 10 had been quickly uploaded by tweeting revellers and had been 'trending' all night long. Metropolitan Police said no one was injured at the party but were quick to point the finger of blame at high-spirited euro-sceptics 'off their t$ts on cheap cider'. Witnesses at the party claimed one MP defecated in the PM’s bed, while another was last seen heading off behind the potting shed, offering to take it both ways from UKIP & the Tory voters.


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