The BBC has confirmed that it will no longer broadcast the results of the Conservative leadership contest – the equivalent in footballing terms of the Isle of Wight Top Tiles League South.
A spokesperson said: 'As a matter of course we regularly review all of our media output. Consulting with focus groups, undertaking customer surveys etc. All point to a falling public interest in this topic. Overwhelming feedback criticises us for continuing to report on "a couple of useless, egotistic lying tossers who couldn’t run a whelk stall, or indeed organise a legal piss-up in a brewery let alone 10 Downing Street.
Customers have urged us to promote instead more upbeat and uplifting news items such as Covid, Ukraine, water rationing, the next WAGs legal action. Plus, of course, blanket coverage of the Conservative leadership contest after this one – provisionally scheduled for January 2023.'