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Octopus: I'm not racist but I f£%king hate cod

Greta Thunberg has had to publically apologize for her stuffed toy and its hate-filled rants about dover sole and EU fishing quotas. However, videos have surfaced of the octopus marching with the EDL, giving eight nazi salutes.

The octopus in question has promoted mollusc-only restaurants and scrawled abusive graffiti about halibut. One anti-racist campaigner explained: 'The KKK's pointy hood was originally designed to cover octopus beaks. Remember, abusing aquatic life is a bait crime.'

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