Poland braced for a massive invasion of déjà vu


Despite the Russian threat the people of Poland have remained strangely stoic; one historian observed: 'At the end of the day, this is what the Polish people do best. Patiently waiting for unprovoked warfare. It's a bit of nostalgia. It’s a bit of fun. It’s a bit of unwanted territorial dispute, followed by the threat of vodka fuelled sexual violence'.


Russia's Ria Novosti news agency denied any aggressive moves towards Poland but could not disguise the fact that Warsaw was appearing as 'Putingrad' on state maps. The Polish State said they would be minimizing bomb damage with Styrofoam houses, fire retardant hats for pets and all women have been asked to molest themselves '...to speed up the process'.


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