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Poorest 50% of planet 'likely to achieve COP26 targets'

Updated: Nov 22, 2021

A report that the top 1% of earners are likely to exceed the COP26 climate targets has been countered by the observation that the 50% of the poorest people on the planet are 'very unlikely' to exceed emission limits is seen as progress.

'Clearly wealth is a barrier to achieving our goal of stopping climate change,' said a government spokesperson today, 'so if the government continues to ensure the majority of the UK has a declining income then we are likely to achieve the net zero targets earlier.

' Of course there will be the pesky 1% who are likely to increase their wealth through government contracts, but we can carbon offset them', continued the spokesperson. Or as the Prime Minister likes to refer to the pesky 1%..... us.''

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