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  • Writer's pictureSully

Posh wallpaper supplier ‘delighted’ at Boris’s return

Updated: Oct 23, 2022

Wallpaper-maker to the stars, Lulu Lytle, have expressed their ‘utter delight’ on learning that Boris and Carrie have been booked for a second season at Downing Street.

“It isn’t about money”, a spokesperson told us. “We just want them to have the best. We’ve heard that Liz Truss spent most of her time with a steamer and has removed the lovely paper we supplied to Carrie. Tragic”. The spokesperson’s voice drops to a hushed whisper. “Apparently she shops at John Lewis! I know! Ghastly”.

Mr Johnson is believed to be refreshed after his three month paid holiday and has already enquired about changing the rules so that he can claim a second £115k pension when he’s ejected this time around. He’s also looking forward to lying to a new monarch.

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