Canadian custom officials have discovered an ‘gluttonous lump’ amongst Harry and Meghan’s duty frees. Closer inspection has revealed the unusual package to be Prince Andrew; who claimed that he was embarking on 20-year sight-seeing tour of the colonies – or at least until the statute of limitations passes.
Harry and Meghan’s attempt to flee the country and press intrusion has now been overshadowed by Prince Andrew exceeding their baggage allowance – by 18 stones and truck load of rumours. A Palace spokeswoman explained: ‘It’s not unusual for Andrew to be found naked and tied up – but it is unusual to be outside of Jeffrey Epstein’s house. The Prince will miss his charitable role, reaching out to members of the British public – but that’s usually where the problems start.’
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