top of page

Private Sector abuse so much more cost effective


Reflecting on their proven track-record of outsourcing things that matter, the Conservative government have hailed Medway Secure Training Centre as a beacon of maltreatment; providing round-the-clock neglect at affordable prices, allowing people to die in custody ‘with dignity.’


A Home Office official remarked: ‘By opening the prison service to private contractors we’ve guaranteed the same level of customer satisfaction we’ve seen since the nationalization of British Rail. You only have to look at the contrast between state and private schools, to know who provides meaningful lasting trauma. Shares in shackles have increased, alongside innovations in energy-saving Tasers and recyclable batons. You don’t have to pay exorbitant fees or elect Cyril Smith, to scare children.’

15 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Data suggests a sharp decline in moronic decisions from Saturday to Sunday, leading to unsustainable levels of happiness throughout the nation and the accusation that the Government are only 'part-tim

With a population 63% Mormon, Utah State has been declared a turn off, bringing in legislation to restrict pornography. A Church official said: ‘We advise filtering the Internet by using golden plates

Her Majesty, resplendent in an 'I'm 90' badge and matching tiara, went out to survey her grovelling Proles. With a spryness that belied her years and billionaire lifestyle, Queen Elizabeth took a 'ce

bottom of page