Progressive Daily Telegraph to showcase brunettes’ brains

The Daily Telegraph’s main photo on A level results day is to be a group of attractive posh brunette 18-year-old girls in short skirts, hugging each other. This is a marked change from attractive posh blonde 18-year-old girls in short skirts hugging each other, demonstrating just how progressive the newspaper is.


‘It’s Metoo feminism gone mad,’ said photographer and noted pervert Warren Wright.


‘We know what those retired colonels like. The girls are all 18, so it’s all technically legal. I hope so because I’m already on the register. I was worried that Covid regulations would prevent these group shots - yeah, just like that, darling. Maybe another shirt button. Yeah, now, kiss.’


A nearby celebrating student Francesca Fraser adjusted her glasses before saying:

‘I’ve just got into Cambridge to study Astrophysics. Those two lezzing it up for the camera don’t even study here; they work at the shop next door.’

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