A fearless police dog who has been pensioned off is concerned that his pension will be insufficient to meet the cost of living and is looking for another job.
The dog, Quantum, told Newsbiscuit that he had been looking forward to taking it easy when he retired, but with fuckwits in charge of the economy in a cost of living crisis, he is worried he will be unable to heat his kennel this winter unless he finds another income stream.
When asked what type of job he was looking for, he said "Well I thought I might try computing. With a name like mine, I ought to be able to blag my way into it. After all, you only need to have Eton on your CV to get on in politics, even if you know sod all about how to run a country."