As the prospect of Scottish Independence approaches, UN officials have spoken of a flood of dispossessed anglophiles pouring over Hadrian’s Wall in search of tepid beer and cricketing humiliation. Despite millions of Syrians being made homeless through civil war, President Assad has offered a safe-haven for those Scots fleeing the oppressive yoke of Alex Salmond and a History curriculum written by Mel Gibson. Said one of the dispossessed: ‘I know Syria has a dangerously unstable regime, but we thought it was preferrable to stopping in England’.
