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Shock as 'Fifty Shades of Grey' misses out on another literary award

The series has sold over 125 million copies worldwide with phrases like 'spank monkey' and 'cock mangle' having been translated into 52 languages. While the success of the trilogy has already led to a spike in the sale of sex toys, A&E admissions and graphic submissions to 'You've been Framed'. Sadly, even the release of an eye-catching pop-up edition of the book has failed to excite critics - who objected to the laminated pages, preferring something with joined-up writing and syntax.

One fan spoke of their frustration: ‘Who can forget such memorable quotes as – ‘It was the best of times, it was the worst of he punched her in the t@t', 'It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune probably has a kinky sex dungeon' or the moving 'It was a queer, sultry summer, the summer they electrocuted the Rosenbergs - which instantly gave me an erection.’

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