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Some faces evolved to 'get slapped'

Anthropologists now believe Early Man needed to pulverise each other, not just to keep warm during the Ice Age. Certain primitive faces became deliberately provocative to encourage others to take a pop at them, one scientist explained:

‘It’s much more cathartic to hit a moron, than kick the dog.’

Human and ancestral skull reconstructions reveal the ideal facial shape is 17% journalist, 26% private school boy and 57% tw$t. One creationist countered: ‘Evolution is just a theory. Whereas if you wanted incontrovertible proof of the existence of God–‘. He was interrupted by being hit by a sock filled with manure, wielded by his wife. She confirmed: ‘He’s just got one of those faces.’

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